Natural Health and Herbal Remedies Blog

Meet people who almost lost their sexual intimacy for the rest of their lives.

WIFE: “Now that I finally have my own career, every second counts. I take a lot of work home, and when I’m not working, ] talk with the kids. I know I neglect my husband. I have to run twice as fast just to stay even. When you are a woman and a CEO [chief executive officer], you have to prove yourself every day. I’m just too exhausted to have sex most nights. Even when we have it, I àù usually thinking about a damned work problem.”

HUSBAND: “I really think sometimes that we could end up broke. My wife makes much more, I mean much more, than I do, and if she didn’t, my teacher’s salary would never keep us living like we do. Ever since she started making that money, our sex life changed. The roles are just different. I know it sounds small of me, but I just don’t have the pride, the assertiveness I should have with her in our lovemaking. She’s like my superior. I even hate it when she is on top.”

WIFE: “I need friends. He complains that I am always on the phone, but I really give them support and they help me. He thinks I am more into them than into our marriage. He said he waited up one night until midnight while I talked to Cindy. He just stopped wanting sex and he says it’s because I am distracted and ignore him. He resents my involvement with anyone but him. It takes away my respect for him.”

HUSBAND: “I golf. I would golf at night with a ceal miner’s hat on if I could. She doesn’t golf. She isn’t even athletic at all. She is angry because she wanted to make love Saturday morning and I was late for a golf game. It’s my only recreation, my only escape, and I think she is just jealous. She should find her own interests.”

WIFE: “This is our third move in five years. New friends, no old friends, no family, new schools, new stores, same old house problems of moving in again. You can’t spend much time making love if you are never really unpacked. Would you believe that one night I just could not find my diaphragm. I had packed it up somewhere and started tearing through every box in the house. When I came back empty-handed, he was mad and told me to forget the whole thing.”

HUSBAND: “Everybody jokes about retirement; the old gold watch routine. Well, I just don’t know. I lost my energy with this early-retirement thing. I worked twenty years for this, and now it all

Sex and Problems of Daily Living: Why Nobody Has a Sex Life 239 seems kind of empty. We don’t have sex and we haven’t had sex. As soon as retirement neared, I lost my reactions and my sex drive. If it’s in my head, I still can’t do a thing about it. I’m in sexual retirement, too, I guess.”

*203\97\8*

read comments (0)

“Love is an emotion. ”

It’s the deepest feeling, the most intense of all feelings. You can’t describe it, but you’ll know it when it happens. Love just knocks you out. It’s an emotional powerhouse.

HUSBAND

Ask anyone and that person will tell you that love is an emotion, some type of euphoric bliss with which you are smitten. We tell our teenagers that the love they feel is not “real,” and that they will know the real thing later. We tell them that their hormones are deceiving them. We tell them that love it an adult emotion, and they must wait until their hormones are out of the way before they can feel the true power of emotional love.

Actually, love is not what we are describing to these young people, but “limerence,” a term coined by Dorothy Tennov. Limerence is a vacillation between elation at a partner’s perceived reciprocity of feelings and melancholic jealousy when the partner is seen as not returning this feeling. It is intense mood change because of another person, not stable and meaningful feeling for someone else. In real love, there is little vacillation, for real love is not just a feeling at all, but a complex interaction between thinking, feeling, intentionally behaving, and believing in a “bonding manner.” Love is not exclusively a feeling, it is a multidimensional combination and balance between what researcher Robert J. Sternberg identifies as commitment, intimacy, and passion. Commitment is volitional, intellectual, and intentional. Intimacy is a feeling of bondedness evolved between two people over time. Passion is the combination of intense feelings and physical longing resulting in the strong desire to be a part of someone else, to join together physically.

*63\97\8*

read comments (0)